Deserved Forgiveness
by pleasesayitsnotso
Summary: Steve stumbles upon Natasha in the early hours of the morning, she seems despondent until she asks him some rather telling questions. Maybe Black Widow isn't as emotionless as everyone thinks. Rated T for Natasha's mildly bad language.


_"__What if everything you believe is wrong and you could still be loved and still be forgiven?"_

_"__Letting ourselves be forgiven is one of the most difficult healings we will undertake."_

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><p>Steve awoke abruptly, sensing he had been dragged from his sleep by the claws of a nightmare he could no longer remember. Grabbing a t-shirt from nearby he pulled it over his head before concluding he needed a drink of water, throwing a glance towards the clock, he saw it was 2:15 am. The moonlight streamed in through the windows of the Avengers tower casting frosty highlights over every surface and piece of furniture it touched. After filling a glass with water he turned and leant back against the kitchen units, bringing the glass to his lips and allowing the cool liquid to quench his thirst. His gaze followed the streams of light towards its beautiful source, causing him to notice a figure on the balcony, their silhouette framed by the mystical glow of the moon. Once he had walked through the patio doors he identified the perfect curves and undulations of the individual as Natasha. Placing himself beside her he noted how enchantingly beautiful she looked, she was sporting a pair of black shorts that exhibited her toned and powerful legs, on her top half she donned an oversized white t-shirt that had slipped off her shoulder on one side revealing the soft milky skin that adorned her collar bone leading up enticingly to her delicate neck. Her hair was loose, however it did not display its usual polished style that Natasha so often wore, instead it was slightly ruffled and crimson curls framed her strong features bringing out the jade sparkle and gleam in her eyes. The white radiance of the moon highlighted her sharp cheekbones, and looking upon her face he saw a stern gaze that looked out at the stars and the bright lights of the city, her expression remained indifferent and despite his presence she did not move to address him,<p>

"You ok Nat?" His voice somehow managed to break through the gentle and comforting hum of the city at night, it startled him slightly at how loud his voice had seemed as if he was in a library and he had spoken just a little too loud allowing his voice to reverberate from every crevice and shattering the absolute silence. He waited patiently for a reply however she did not stir, not even a slight glance of the head; a flicker of the eyes; or a shift in her features. The only movement was the soft summer breeze brushing through her scarlet curls, making them sway against her cheeks. When a few minutes had passed in the void of the early morning murmur, he went to ask again however without turning towards him she gently asked,

"Steve, do you believe in God? Forgiveness, love and all that crap?" Rather taken aback by the question, which seemed to no way answer the question he had asked her previously, he rolled his eyes although an amused smirk accompanied it. Trust Natasha to discuss what can be a delicate matter in such a stark and abrupt manner,

"Yes." She remained facing towards the city skyline, sparkling like thousands of diamonds clinging to the hem of the sky, after a moment of silent contemplation she turned her body towards him. Looking up into those comforting sky blue orbs she hushed,

"If you were God, would you feel I was worth your forgiveness? That I deserved love?" Steve looked into her verdant eyes, which despite her steady strong voice, betrayed the helpless vulnerability behind her question. He saw how her body betrayed her in the smallest of ways, her eyes took on a glassy sheen and her lips twitched ever so slightly in anticipation of his response. He felt within him the undeniable desire to comfort her, he stepped forward closing the space that had become a rift between them, she looked up expectantly and he heard her take a soft intake of breathe in expectation. Bringing his hand up towards her face he brushed away a stray curl, that had fallen across her face due to the undulating momentum of the light breeze that encircled them, as he tucked the tendril behind her ear he allowed his hand to softly stroke the side of her cheek, as he did so he replied gently,

"Of course I would." Wrenching her gaze from his she looked back out at the cityscape, however she did not move out of the close proximity of Steve,

"Nat..." Steve stated clearly, commanding her attention back to him, for a moment he thought she would not turn back to him however after a slight pause she did. Her features still withheld their indifferent expression, however now down one cheek , in the silvery moonlight, he could see the remnants of a tears pathway,

"Yes?" Steve looked at her with such adoration Natasha could barely withhold his gaze, however she felt the pang and titillation of anticipation in what he would say next,

**"****You deserve it all."** With that he placed a hand behind her head cupping it in his palm before placing a soft kiss to her forehead lingering ever so slightly and delighting in the way that Natasha leant slightly into him. Natasha couldn't believe that the man before her, the man who was just too good to be true, Mr Virtuous himself believed that she deserved everything, including love and forgiveness despite her past transgressions,

"Thanks Steve." Slowly he pulls away allowing his hand to stroke her cheek in an endearing manner that makes Natasha wish that this moment would not end. As she watches him make his way back inside she wonders if she really deserves him and if really that's what she wanted to ask him. **Do I deserve you? Do I deserve your love and forgiveness? Because she lives in fear that he's just too good to be true, too good for someone such as her.**

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><p><em>Quotes by Cassandra Clare &amp; Stephen Levine <em>


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